Relationships are a tricky business, especially in sales. Some people find it hard to connect with others, while others find it more natural. How do you know what to do to build good relationships with your clients?

In this session, you will learn about the seven key influences that can help you connect with others. You will then identify some characteristics about yourself that might help you build common ground with your customers.

Influences at Work

When it comes to relationships, the better you are at connecting with people, the better your quality of life becomes. While connecting with people brings tremendous rewards, it is hard work too.

Here are some of the influences at work when we connect with others.

Appearance

Whether we like it or not, physical attractiveness plays a role in helping us form favorable first impressions of another person. Physical attractiveness is very subjective, and varies from one culture to another, but there are some standards we can count on. Generally, taller people are seen as more competent. People who look approachable are more attractive and more positive. This means that you have to pay attention to how you look in your role as a professional salesperson.

Similarity

Individuals are drawn to one another when they share common interests or goals. Common ground is just that: finding some areas of similarity with another person. People who love sports tend to talk about their favorite games together, just as people with children or pets talk about their latest adventures with them. Finding common ground can be an important part of relationship building.

Complementarity

People may be attracted to others who fulfill a particular need at a particular time in their lives. If you know their needs and you can fulfill these needs, with your own talents or with your products or services, it is easier to create an interest in what you offer.

Reciprocity

This relates to our tendency to repay others in kind for what they have given us. It often comes as some kind of obligation. Some examples include inviting people to parties after they have invited us, buying a gift for someone who buys us one, or sending holiday cards in return for those sent to us.

How can we make reciprocity work for us?

• We can be generous, giving our time or our talents to others.
• We can do good turns for others without expecting payment of any kind.
• We can treat others with kindness and respect, just as we would like to be treated.

Competence

People can be influenced by the knowledge and skill that people bring to a situation. Certainly, it is important to be seen as knowing what you are doing. Testimonials from others who have used your services can provide proof of your competence.

How can we become more competent?

• Find an area of sales that you excel in, and become even better.
• Practice, read books, and learn about your field.
• Become an expert in a particular area.
• Collect testimonials.
• When people say nice things, ask if they’d put them on paper. This isn’t the same thing as bragging (something most of us find obnoxious).

Proximity

The sheer chance of physical location determines to a large degree those with whom we do business. On the whole, proximity allows us to gather more information about others and to benefit from a relationship with them. How can this work in your favor?

According to research, we are more apt to form relationships with people who live in our community, our city, our province, or our state. This is good news in one way. We don’t have to conquer new territories. We can build strong relationships right on our own home turf.

However, with the advent of the Internet, we do have access to, and virtual proximity to, a far greater geographical region than ever before.

Exchange

In differentiating exchange from reciprocity, a person must determine whether working with another is a good deal or a wasted effort. It suggests that we seek people who can give us personal rewards equal to or greater than the costs we face in dealing with them. In economics, this is called the exchange theory.

One example might be, all other things being equal, that you wouldn’t incur a $1000 travel cost to get $500 worth of business. Getting sales training is only rewarding if we can use that knowledge to bring in more dollars that you paid out in training.

These components of interpersonal attraction influence us in our social as well as our professional lives. Most people do not have a choice when it comes to the people they work with (although these determinants often determine the degree to which they appreciate and nurture those relationships), so they may choose to exercise these factors to a greater extent when they feel they are in the driver’s seat, as a buyer.