SESSION SEVEN: NON-VERBAL MESSAGES
In the previous session, we learned about the verbal components of communicating with others. However, most of our face-to-face communication is through body language. To be a successful communicator, it is important to know what message you are sending non-verbally.
In this session, we will learn about the non-verbal components of communication, including body language and voice characteristics. In particular, you will learn about common positive and negative messages that you send when communicating.
Non-Verbal Messages
Non-verbal messages can be far more important than the words we say. The way we stand, what we do with our hands, the sound of our voice, the way we walk, and the expressions on our face can support, enhance, and even contradict what we say.
In our fast-paced world, we don’t have time to get more than a quick snapshot of how a person looks before we make up our mind about them. They are making up their mind about us at the same time, so it is essential that our non-verbal messages are consistent with what we say verbally.
When we meet, what should we be watching for?
- Rejection of our comments (for example, the person physically moves further from us by sitting back in their chair or slouching in their seat)
- Anger on the face and in their posture
- Lack of understanding or comprehension (such as furrowed brows, pursed lips)
What are some other non-verbal signals we must be careful not to communicate?
- Boredom
- Anger (our own flushed face, or the way we put things on our desk will all convey our own mood)
- Arrogance
The face and the eyes are the most expressive means of non-verbal communication. Additional positive or negative messages are sent by your gestures, posture, and the space between you and the other person.
Positive body language is important to encourage conversation and support your positive intent in meeting with the other person. When we don’t pay attention to our non-verbal signals, we often send mixed or confusing messages to people. Get control of your image by working on your non-verbal language.
Voice
Your attitude is projected through your voice as well as your body language. Make sure your body language and voice always says, “I’m here to help as best I can.”
When your voice is annoyed, impatient, or condescending, the other person may become angered or angrier. Speak with a calm, firm, caring, soothing tone. Your communications will be more relaxed, more pleasant, and better understood.
The speed and rhythm of your speech is important as well. Clear communication includes appropriate pauses and inflections to support the words.
Qualities of a Good Voice
- Awake and interested
- A smile in your voice
- Straightforward language, without jargon
- Glad the person called or visited
- Easy to understand with moderate volume and rate
Well-modulated, varied tone