SESSION NINE: THE HANDSHAKE
Another important aspect of networking and making good impressions is your handshake. Your handshake says a lot about you, and it’s important to cultivate a professional, confident handshake that doesn’t injure the other person.
In this session, you will learn about the five factors of a good handshake: firmness, depth of grip, dryness of hand, duration of grip, and eye contact. Then, you will think about your own handshake and what it says about you. Finally, we will talk about business card etiquette.
The Handshake
During the important first few minutes of a new relationship, a handshake is usually the only body contact between two people. It can communicate warmth, a genuine concern for the other person, and an image of either strength or gentleness. It can also communicate indifference and weakness. Developing a professional handshake is perhaps one of the most valuable business skills you can ever cultivate.
The message you communicate with your handshake is determined by five factors.
Degree of Firmness
Your grip should be firm, rather than weak. However, you don’t want your handshake to be painful to the other person. Consideration is appreciated. Be especially considerate if you are shaking hands with someone in a receiving line who has many more hands to shake, someone who is wearing a lot of rings, or someone who is obviously elderly and perhaps fragile.
Dryness of Hand
We all prefer to shake a hand that is dry. While you typically don’t want to obviously dry your hands before greeting someone, this is perfectly acceptable if you have been holding a cold glass. Similarly, if you are at the buffet table and have been eating, it is expected that you would wipe your hand on your napkin before extending it to be shaken.
Depth of Grip
A handshake is palm to palm. Generally you will place your hand so that the web between your thumb and forefinger meets the web of the other person’s hand, briefly. Your hand remains perpendicular. If your palm is facing up, this may be construed as a sign of submissiveness. Similarly, if your palm is on top, it can be seen as a sign of aggressiveness.
Duration of Grip
The perfect handshake is about 3 seconds. You can gently pump once or twice but this is not necessary. Then pull back your hand, even if you are still talking.
Eye Contact
While this will vary from culture to culture, in North America we expect the person shaking our hand to make eye contact with us.
Tips for Success
Have something to say as you shake hands, if possible. It doesn’t require anything witty. It may even be the old stand-by, “Pleased to meet you.” However, these few words set the stage for some small talk that can be the beginning of a new business relationship.
Grasping the top of the other person’s hand with your other hand, so that their hand is enveloped in yours, may very well signal warmth and affection. However, this may be seen as patronizing and too familiar for an introductory handshake. Save this handshake for a meeting with an old friend.
Business Card Etiquette
Don’t leave home without your cards. However, don’t hand out your business card to everyone you know, as if you are spreading the wonder of who you are. First, see if people need or want your card. Handing out your cards like chewing gum makes you seem like a pushy salesperson – not the image you want to project.
Make sure your business cards are clean and in good condition. They are a part of your business image. A business card that is dirty or curled at the edges leaves a poor first impression. Use a business card case to keep your cards clean and fresh.
When your cards are damaged or out of date, print new ones. If you start crossing out information on a card and write new information on top of it, it makes it difficult to read and looks messy. Business cards are part of your image. Make sure yours are well designed and up to date.
When you receive a card, take a moment to look at it. Make a positive comment about some aspect of the card: the logo, the company name, or business location. This shows respect for the other person, and demonstrates your interest in them. As well, this is an excellent way for you to find out more about them, such as their job title. It also helps you remember their name, or reminds you of their name in case you forgot – a very common occurrence.
If someone hands you a card that you don’t want, don’t refuse to take it. Accept it, look at it, and put it in a pocket. Throw it out later.
After you’ve looked at the card, place it carefully in a card case, or in a front pocket – not a back pocket. Treat the card with respect. This includes being careful about writing on people’s cards. Although this may seem contrary to current thoughts on networking, in many cultures (specifically Asia), a business card is part of the overall persona, and should be treated with respect. People spend time and money designing a professional card and may not appreciate you writing across it. If you need to record information, write on the back, not the front. Ask first, “Do you mind if I write on your card?”